Selfishness
by Shiny Pichu-chan
Summary: /Eventual GrayxLoke/
1. Chapter 1

Most nights, he made it a point to take the long way back home to his apartment. Following the many cobblestone paths laced throughout the large but peaceful town of Magnolia, he always found himself walking along the docks, slowing down to a more relaxed pace once the sounds of the ocean's waves filled his ears and its salty brine invaded his nostrils.

There was nothing that calmed Gray down more than the sea.

After a long day's work as a guild wizard, it was the best way to unwind, and even a guy like him needed a well-deserved break from the rowdy and rough lifestyle that came with Fairy Tail mages. It was the perfect time to reflect on things, or to simply empty his mind and enjoy the silent company of his teacher.

The place was usually deserted around this time. Only a handful of streetlamps were lit dimly along the pathway, but with the stars and a full moon out on this particular night, the walk home was bright and picturesque.

All of which made the lone man sitting along the edge of the pier with his back facing Gray all the more noticeable to him. And yet there was no mistaking that form.

"…Loke?"

Shoulders twitched up slightly in surprise at the sudden voice cutting through the stillness of the night, before Loke turned in order to look upon the ice wizard approaching him with a curious, but friendly look.

"Gray?" Loke mirrored Gray's surprised tone, "What are you doing here?"

The other man made a clipped noise of amusement, "That should really be my line, right?"

"…I suppose that's true," Loke smiled lightly as he watched Gray plop down to sit beside him, "But I don't remember this being among your usual routes home…"

The focus on Loke's face shifted forward and then slightly upwards to the sky, "Ah, well…" Gray raised an arm to rub at the back of his head, "Recently it has been, I guess… Since Galuna Island, y'know."

"…I see," Loke smiled slightly in understanding. Nothing more needed to be said about the matter.

"…So?" Gray leaned back a bit on his palms, glancing back at the celestial spirit, "What about you? Don't think I've ever seen you here in the Human World this late. Did a guild job run long?"

"Oh…no. I just arrived a little while ago, actually," Loke loosened his tie a bit while speaking, eyes focused on the dark, ebbing waters below, "…I just came to take my mind off things."

…_Everything okay? _

The uncharacteristically sentimental words filtered through Gray's mind for an instant, but what ended up coming out of his mouth was, "Yeah? I would kind of think your own world would be the best for that."

With a chuckle, Loke straightened his posture, "Yes, well… As hard as it is to believe, one gets bored of the same scenery over and over, no matter how beautiful it may seem." Glancing over at the other with that effortless, charming smile of his, he continued, "…It's what I like best about the Human World, you know. Its vastness."

Loke paused again in order to look out at the open sea, its darkened blue stretching far beyond either of their eyes could ever hope to reach, disappearing over the star-speckled horizon. Gray found himself following his gaze, keeping silent. A light evening breeze blew by then.

"It's so much bigger than the Celestial World," Loke continued with a far-away look that almost seemed familiar to Gray, but he couldn't quite place the previous occasion, "…You have such a large variety of different landscapes to enjoy, different color combinations, a seemingly endless range of sights and sounds and smells that change every day. That's the thing about the Celestial World…nothing changes. It's the same as it was five hundred years ago, and will stay the same for five hundred more."

Gray didn't know how to respond to that without agreeing to such a melancholy outlook. So he didn't bother trying to sugarcoat it. Loke wouldn't mind, anyway. That was just the kind of relationship they had after so many years.

"Yeah…you've got a point there."

Loke's smile didn't falter, "Other stellar spirits don't seem to notice things like that. But I guess living here for a year or two, and you can't help it." Slipping off his glasses for a moment, he cleaned the lenses with the fabric of his shirt, "…You know, before meeting Lucy, I almost considered going out to sea to see the rest of the world before I disappeared."

"What stopped you?" Gray asked, genuinely interested. It wasn't very often Loke was this open about anything, especially concerning his time living as a celestial spirit in the Human World.

"I miscalculated," Loke answered pleasantly, sliding his glasses back into place, "By that time I'd grown too attached to the guild, the one thing I tried not to do. Somehow, leaving Magnolia and possibly disappearing at some unknown, faraway place left a bad taste in my mouth. Well…not to mention Karen's grave is nearby."

Gray thought a bit before speaking.

"…You could do it now, couldn't you?"

Loke turned to look back at Gray with an utterly astonished expression, and secretly the ice mage congratulated himself for getting such a rare face out of the other.

"Lucy's great, y'know? I don't think she'd mind letting you have a couple weeks to yourself to travel a bit."

"I—" Loke seemed like he needed a second to gather his thoughts, "I uh, n-no. I couldn't." He paused to cough and clear his throat, while Gray further relished in his mind the opportunity to see Loke flustered, "…I couldn't possibly leave Lucy's side for that long for such a selfish reason."

Damn, back to his collected self.

"Aah geez," Gray scratched at the back of his head with a rough sigh, "You really are the doting knight in shining armor, aren't you…"

A chuckle, "I don't see why I shouldn't be. I owe my life to Lucy."

Gray brought his legs up to cross them as he sat, "Yeah, well. You're still human—err. Well, you know what I mean." He glanced at the other with some seriousness, "You should let yourself be selfish sometimes, y'know?"

Loke didn't say anything immediately in response to that.

And it was then Gray must have just imagined what he saw. The facial expression only seemed to be there for a split-second, after all. Maybe even less than that. But it was certainly so brief that Gray had to doubt if he even saw it at all. That's what he liked to think. That's what he hoped was the case.

Because the look he thought he saw on Loke's face for that short moment seemed so heartbreaking that Gray didn't know what to do with himself.

But here and now Loke was beaming that usual smile of his, tinted shades catching the light of the moon above. Yeah. Gray had just imagined the whole thing.

"…Perhaps," Loke answered simply, before looking back at the darkened ocean once more. Again, Gray found himself following the other's gaze.

A comfortable silence encased the both of them for a while. Only the sound of ocean waves and the ebbing tide filled the night air. It was a chilly evening, but of course Gray didn't mind, although Loke didn't seem to either, if the coat resting neatly folded beside the man was any indication. Faintly, Gray wondered if cold or heat really affected a stellar spirit like Loke. In all the time he had known him, he couldn't recall any complaints like that coming from his mouth.

It was just as that frivolous thought process had finished passing through Gray's mind that Loke spoke up again, beginning to stand.

"Well…I think it's time I returned home."

"Yeah? Already?"

Bending down to pick up his coat, Loke threw the other an appeasing smile, "I'll drop by the guild again sometime soon."

"Well then make sure it's when I'm there. I seem to always have the bad luck of just missing you. Feels like it's been forever since we hung out."

"I'll do that," Loke replied sincerely.

"And hey," Gray added, rapping on the surface of the wooden pier with his knuckles, "Could always talk here again, too," he smirked lightly, "You know my schedule now."

Loke chuckled, "I suppose I do," his smile softened after a pause, "…I might take you up on that offer."

"Be seein' you, then," Gray saluted a goodbye with a movement of his middle and index finger.

Loke imitated the gesture with a smile, body already encompassed in the soft golden glow to carry him off into the other world. Before long his entire form dissolved into nothing, leaving only a handful of twinkles of light that quickly disappeared as well into the night.

Gray stayed where he sat for some moments longer, before getting up himself and resuming his quiet walk home.

But all he could really think about was that expression he may or may not have seen, and the reason Loke had been sitting there at the docks all alone in the first place.

* * *

A/N: Well, I'm doing it. I'm going to post a real, multiple-chapter story on here. So now all you weirdos can finally story alert something of mine that isn't clearly labeled as COMPLETE. Also as an important note, **_THIS IS NOT, I REPEAT, NOT A SEQUEL TO MY PREVIOUS GRAY/LOKE ONE-SHOT._**Seriously, it's not. I mean sure you can think it is? But I'm trying to go for a more serious plot here, even though in all honesty I don't know how this story is going to go in the long-run. I have a rough idea of some scenes, but otherwise I'm winging it, just like the great Mashima-sensei himself! But this is also something I've always wanted to write, because Gray and Loke's relationship-friendship or otherwise-has just fascinated me ever since the Tenroujima arc. I just love it. I want to know more about it. I want to know it all. But since I know I'm probably never going to get that from canon, I'm taking it upon myself to flesh out their past, present and future on my own, as all great fanfiction authors do.

Who knows, I might not end up pairing them together romantically. Maybe I will and some chapters will have their ratings go up. Or maybe I'll end it all with broken hearts and the many tears of my readers to sustain my lifeblood. Only time will tell.


	2. Chapter 2

Starting the night after the next, such meetings down by the docks became a semi-routine occurrence.

It was always Loke who arrived first, no matter how early Gray thought he was starting his walk home. He always sat in the same spot, at the same pier, and without much of a greeting Gray would simply take a seat beside the other and start up conversation. It was wonderful. It was just like old times.

They talked about the mundane, the interesting, and everything in between. They spoke of guild jobs and of guild members. Loke talked about the goings-on in the Celestial World, while Gray shared his own gossip about Magnolia. They laughed over laughable things and conversed seriously over serious matters. They talked like a couple of guys. They talked like a couple of best friends. It went on for weeks.

"…and then Natsu—that little fire turd—you know what he does? He ignores the whole speech and sprints off down the hall setting off _every damn_ booby-trap in the place! That moron…" Gray heaved a sigh with arms crossed, "I swear if he didn't have anyone else going with him on these jobs of his he'd get himself killed in under a minute."

Loke chuckled pleasantly, "Well, as I recall, he did just fine by himself before."

"Hey, don't forget Happy was always with him," Gray pointed out sternly, "Sometimes I think that cat has a million times more sense than he does…"

"You're harsh with him as always, huh," Loke drew a leg up as he leaned back on his palms, smiling a bit too sweetly for Gray's liking.

"Yeah? And why shouldn't I be? Lately all I'm ever doing is getting dragged into missions with that bastard because of Erza. I can't even remember the last time I went on a job by myself and had some peace and quiet."

Loke laughed lightly before he could stop himself, "Is that the excuse you're sticking with?"

"What was that?" Gray turned to the other with an icy glare.

Unfazed, Loke went on, "Even I know Erza isn't as demanding as she used to be. I'm sure you'd be perfectly fine declining her offers. …If they even exist, that is."

Even in the dimly lit night, the slight red that colored Gray's features then was quite apparent, no matter how much he tried to cover it up with anger.

"W-what the hell is that supposed to mean?! If you've got something to say, then just say it!"

"It was just a joke! Only a joke," Loke raised his hands up in mock surrender, chuckling. And against a face like that, it really was difficult for Gray to hold onto his irritation.

"Good to know…" he mumbled with a slight scowl, gaze turning back to the ocean.

It didn't take long, however, for the pleasant atmosphere to return. That was something Gray really did admire about Loke. That ability to take everything in stride, hardly making an enemy out of anyone. He was almost too charismatic for his own good, which went against all stereotypes of his playboy attitude, even if the fact took some time to realize. It certainly took Gray about a year for his opinion of Loke to change to something far more positive.

But if he were to be completely honest with himself, Gray had always been interested in Loke in some way or another. He had simply been too much of an enigma not to be. He had shown up at Fairy Tail out of nowhere—which normally wouldn't be so strange, if he didn't look so much like Blue Pegasus material, and if anyone had known anything about him with how skilled of a magic user he was—climbing the ranks faster than most of the mages who had been members for years could.

Loke had truly been a mystery. Of course, it all made sense knowing what Gray knew now, but he could still remember as clear as day those months of simply wondering who the hell this guy was, always arriving at the guild with a harem of women around him, who certainly weren't members of Fairy Tail, while hardly associating with actual guild members unless it was to discuss guild work, taking a job every now and then and finishing it flawlessly…

It had simply been too strange for Gray to ignore every time he saw the other man, whether it was across the room or at the bar, or even a brief passing as they walked towards opposite directions. It was like that for roughly half a year, until Gray actually had a chance at direct interaction. But that had only been the start of his terrible opinion towards him. It would take much more time than that for Gray to realize what kind of person Loke really was…or rather, a glimpse of it, at least.

"What's so funny?"

Gray was snapped out of his musings at Loke's curious tone.

"Huh?" Gray turned his head and looked at him in genuine confusion.

"You were laughing to yourself a little," Loke explained plainly, smiling with some amusement.

"I was not," Gray retorted automatically, despite the slight warmth he could feel at his cheeks.

"What were you thinking about?" The celestial spirit didn't waste any time with petty arguments when they both knew he was right.

Gray glared off to the side in a mild sulk, but supposed there was no harm in actually answering him.

"…When we first met."

A chuckle escaped Loke, "That certainly is something to laugh about."

"Yeah? Because you were such a snob back then?" the ice mage grinned, seeing an opening to gain the upper hand in the conversation.

The smile finally vanished from Loke's face, although he looked more disappointed than irritated, "I think you might be confusing that memory with something else entirely. Perhaps your blatant boorishness?"

"Ooh no," Gray chortled, shoving the other in the shoulder lightheartedly, "Don't even bother _trying_ to pretend you weren't some stuck-up little prince back in the day."

Loke's facial features twisted into what might be called a pout, "…I was not that bad."

"Yeah," Gray smirked, "You kinda were."

Loke absently adjusted his glasses in pause, "That's still funny coming from a sporadic exhibitionist like yourself."

Gray laughed off the insult, "Yeah, yeah. Deflect it all you want. But face it, if it hadn't been for me, you would've been a stick-in-the-mud loner the whole time you were at Fairy Tail. And hey, probably wouldn't have gotten to know Lucy as well as you did, and then where would you be now?"

He grinned to himself in joking smugness. However, glancing back in Loke's direction, the smirk disappeared.

Loke had suddenly grown quiet, eyes drawn downward, expression not quite expressionless, but not quite…expressive either. Gray wondered with a tinge of guilt if he had gone a bit too far.

But before he could even think to say anything, Loke had lifted his head, turned, and was throwing the other a smile as if the previous few seconds had never even happened.

"You do have a point there."

And the subject ended just like that.

Gray felt too uneasy to bring it up again, let alone ask what that had been about. But if Loke was so intent on pretending it didn't happen—or perhaps he wasn't realizing these slips of the face himself?—then Gray didn't see why he should press it.

Soon after that, Loke announced his departure back to his own world, and all Gray could do was force normalcy and exchange goodbyes like any other night.

But, like the first encounter that started it all, Gray found himself walking back home with nothing on his mind but whatever secret of Loke's those momentary expressions revealed.

* * *

A/N: First off, thanks so much to all my lovely reviewers of the previous chapter (Jessie you're an absolute darling. And I'm sorry, I'm trying to break the habit, Rhov! ^^; ), as well as the favorites I've already received for this story! Without them, I don't know if I would have been able to release the next installment so soon. But such encouragement truly does put me in the mood. Also, thankfully, I seem to have a better idea of how this story is going to turn out, at least where the next chapter is concerned. So in all likeliness that probably means another update in the near future, if school starting up next week doesn't drain too much out of me.

But as we're still only just getting started, I also hope I can live up to the expectations of all my readers out there. There are a lot of different things and head!canons I want to try out, so here's hoping I don't mess that up by trying to fit so much into one fanfiction.


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